What's This Book Actually About?
Nobody ever plans to leave their partner—or have their partner leave them. And nobody plans to stick a photo of themselves on an unknown website hoping to match with a stranger. We never imagine ourselves there. But here we are.
The Ponytailed Guy From Last Night is part memoir, part field guide, and entirely unfiltered. It chronicles Barbara's journey from a Florida divorce to a Manhattan walk-up, and into the wild, absurd trenches of online dating at 60—armed with nothing but decades of ADHD coping mechanisms, a finely-tuned bullshit detector, and a growing "fuck 'em" philosophy.
The ADHD Advantage
What does a lifetime of whack-job ADHD, a penchant for impulsivity, and a history of questionable choices have to do with online dating?
Everything.
The hyper-focus that got Barbara through college finals is the same skill she uses to dissect dating profiles. The pattern recognition that once helped her memorize piano pieces now spots red flags at 100 yards. The ability to become obsessively engaged? Turns out that's a superpower when you need to research someone's LinkedIn, Instagram, and that weird Yelp review they left in 2019.
What You'll Find Inside
This book isn't a traditional dating guide. There are no "10 Steps to Find Your Soulmate" or "How to Write the Perfect Profile." Instead, you'll get:
- Real stories from the dating trenches: From the ponytailed guy who inspired the title to the man who wanted "thin" women, these are actual encounters—hilarious, cringey, and occasionally heartwarming.
- The "Fuck 'Em" Philosophy: Three simple strategies for maintaining your sanity and self-respect in a world of ghosting, breadcrumbing, and "I'm just not ready right now."
- ADHD dating hacks: How neurodivergent traits can actually be advantages in the modern dating landscape.
- Honest talk about sex: Because it matters, and we need to discuss it early—like, almost after "hello."
- The journey to raising your standards: How a throwaway comment from a Brooklyn guy with a ponytail changed everything.
Why "The Ponytailed Guy"?
Andrew—the ponytailed guy from Brooklyn—was supposed to be a footnote. Think Larry David with longer hair. He lured Barbara out of her Manhattan pandemic apartment with pricey scotch, a few gummies, and reluctantly got a COVID vax to meet her.
He wasn't "the one." (PS—Hope that ED thing got sorted, Andrew.)
But he said something off-hand, something casual, that became an epiphany: Barbara had raised her standards without even realizing it. That throwaway comment changed the way she viewed dating, relationships, and herself.
This book is dedicated to him. Wherever he is.
Who Should Read This?
If you've ever felt like dating apps are designed for neurotypical extroverts with unlimited patience and emotional bandwidth, this book is for you.
If you've scrolled through profiles thinking "everyone is lying" or "I can't tell if this person is interesting or just good at captions," this book is for you.
If you're neurodivergent, over 40, recently single, or just exhausted by the performance art of modern romance, this book is definitely for you.
And if you just want to laugh at someone else's dating disasters while learning a thing or two? Welcome aboard.
What Makes This Different?
Most dating books promise transformation. They'll make you irresistible. They'll decode "male psychology" or "female behavior." They'll guarantee results in 30 days or less.
This book promises none of that.
What it does promise: brutal honesty, hard-won wisdom, genuine laughs, and the permission to show up as your unfiltered self. Because at the end of the day, the right person will appreciate your messy desk, your tendency to interrupt, and your ability to hyperfocus on researching their entire digital footprint.
And for those who don't? Fuck 'em.